What's a Chosen One to do?

I mean, I've poked at LeBron's clownish narcissism before but I'm starting to feel sorry for the guy.

This part is old news, but let's review anyway. He commits the "sins" of making a big deal about free agency (after winning his second consecutive MVP, encouraged and enabled for years by league GMs and all media outlets) and then choosing the roster most likely to yield wins (rather than blind, loyal commitment to mediocrity and the dubious virtue of going it alone). For this his jersey is burned in the streets, he's called a traitor by a grade-schooler masquerading as Cavs owner, the pack of media jackals questions every element of his character, and on and on. Everyone wants a piece. In a recent survey of GMs James received only a single vote as most likely to win MVP this season. I know they'll say that you can't win an MVP playing with these other all-stars but that's straight baloney coming from the same guys who a few months ago would have gladly murdered any number of hobos with their bare hands if they'd thought it would earn them favor with The King. And the same guys who then scrambled to overpay Rudy Gay, Joe Johnson, Amir Johnson, Drew Gooden, Darko Milicic, Rudy Gay (contract so nice I'm saying it twice) etc as Kelly Dwyer so excellently pointed out here.

(My only real problem with The Decision is that it was brutal TV. Next time: fewer grisly Jim Gray close-ups, more windmill dunks, please.)

So, I hope LeBron comes out ready to force-feed some fools their own words this season. Every time he throws it down I hope he's imagining the ball to be the chubby, bald head of this-or-that hater Hall of Famer. Maybe give some "no hard feelings" high-fives to various GMs with a palm full of Pat Riley's corrosive hair gel. I'm excited for the coming season, and one big reason is that I think we're going to see some high-quality waste-laying from a former MVP with the eye of the tiger.

Switching gears a bit: hey Miami, speak up if you want this image on a t-shirt. I am collecting data for that kind of endeavor.

And: Garbage Time All-Stars is back. I plan to generate a not-insignificant amount of drawing and comics pertaining to the 2010-2011 NBA season. You have been warned.

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